Today I am 23. Yes I know I don't look it and some people close to me might say I don't act it, but there is no getting passed it. Nature makes me 23. And as a friend reminded me, on this day, five years ago I graduated from High School. I remember after graduation how I had felt like my life was over. I had no idea what to do next or where I should go. Five years later, I still don't have any freaken' idea what to do with myself!!!!!!! When I was little I never thought about what I would be when I grew up. I always just figured that High school was the end that I guess I would just died after that. or something cool would happen anyway. I guess I was a crazy little kid and was dropped on my head one to many times from climbing on crap all the time. cause I never thought of my future. now that its here, I want nothing to do with it. if you knew me you might understand a tiny bit what I am talking about.(then again maybe not). Its just nothing I have ever done turns out. I am so used to failure my mom has started calling me that by accident. and when something starts to work I give up because its to good to be true.
anyway five years later I just don't want to try. I feel like I am empty and lost and not sure how people can do this! how as a human race have we made it this far!!!! I just don't understand it!
anyway its my brithday and I still have no idea what to do with myself.
Happy Brithday to me.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
One year older and not so much wiser
Posted by Summie at 10:14 AM
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2 comments:
Hi Summer!!! Oh! Don't be so depressed!!! Oh!!! I think the #1 thing you can do for yourself is MOVE OUT of your parents house!!! I know it seems scary, but I used to be scared and not knowing what I was going to do with my life until I moved out on my own and could do whatever. And true, I wasn't really doing anything different when I moved out, but it was just the being out there knowing that I COULD survive on my own and I didn't have to have anybody's help that I became more of an individual that could do things. I don't know.....Sometimes you never figure out what's gonna happen until it just does. And sometimes you realize that all this stuff DID happen and you didn't even notice it happening.
Anyways.....happy birthday Summer!
Quit Yer belly achin'! That's what I say. Life hands us stuff all the time that was not in our plan. It's time for a new plan. You can do it. You're smart enough and gosh darn it people like you.
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